I first met Suzanne at Burning Man in 'o7, and honestly have only seen her once since. Still, she's one of those people who I just couldn't help but dig.

That year I camped at the Red Nose District, and saw Cirque Berzerk perform for the first time. I was absolutely awestruck in what they put together and pulled off amidst the crazy white-outs, and knew I wanted to know them better. All of them.

Here's a quick interview for you, my very first over email - and (ahem) the very last to be received back. All she had was some lame excuse about working on an upcoming show. Pffft.

So here it is - now you get to know Cirque Berzerk a little bit better, too. As it goes, you also get to know me a bit better. Blame that on Suzanne.

~ kSea flux

Tell me about the birth of CB, the absolute beginning of the idea to create it. Were you and Kevin just sitting around watching American Idol when all the sudden one of you said “Hey, let’s start a circus!”?

Of course not, kSea! We were watching re-runs of Fantasy Island – saw the midget – saw the fantasy’s come true; we couldn’t afford de plane de plane so we immediately went out and bought a big top – duh!? American Idol – perish the thought.

No, no no – to be totally honest the starting a circus thing happened by accident – Kevin (my partner in crime and ring master extraordinaire) had brought his band SKIN (www.skinbeats.com) out to the playa. Skin is an amazing project Kevin calls cinematic electronica. It’s video, music, and a midi controlled light show and I perform aerial acts during the live show – We played thru a bloody 50 mile an hour white out in ‘04 – which looked really great – Kevin’s dreads blowing around like a mad scientist as he remains bent over his keyboard not even noticing the weather conditions until someone hands him a dust mask -it was truly a classic artist in his moment scene...

The show was killer – but the aftermath of dust we blew out of keyboards, laptops, video projectors (even the ones in a good housing) was epic, my aerial acts had to get cut short – yea – it was one of those – “oh god, what have we done to our gear this time – fuck!” moments.
So on our way back to camp after post show drinks Kevin & I start talking about playing indoors if we ever bring this project to the playa again, and how domes really suck to build…..hey guys – what about a circus tent!? (careful what you dream up when you’re drunk!)

Well – how do we raise $ to buy a circus tent? Hmmmmm….we could throw killer dj parties – of course….and we did….. but then Patrick Shearn (creator of the flower art car) suggests we throw a series of circus dinner theatres and we can use his loft space in downtown LA to throw them. Brilliant - we already have a bunch of friends that we train circus acts with here in LA, from talented up & coming pre-professionals to pros to ex-Cirque du Soleiel members. We certainly have the talent – and thru the greatest of generosity of these folks we began throwing circus dinner theatres. I have to tell you the first one we did – I was literally brought to tears at the amount of love, talent and creative buzz around these. We threw a great series of dinner theatres – I think 4 in total – and we raised money for both our tent and the flower car. And then we looked around and ooops – poof – we have a circus troupe. And 4 years later we are about to produce our first full- length show with an original soundtrack written by Kevin and one track written by fellow Skin member Nick the Neck and one song written by our SF friends Rosin Coven in our big top in downtown LA this summer.

I can’t imagine that it’s been a cakewalk- What are some of the greatest challenges that you’ve faced over the years? How did you get through them, and how has that changed the way you approach the way you go about creating the beautiful shows that you do?

The biggest challenge we first faced was our first year in ‘05– we brought the tent and our first show out to Burning Man, we’d been producing a year of “variety act” style dinner theatre’s but now we wanted to create a full show and take it to the playa and had to learn how to set up a circus tent!?– let me tell you anything that could go wrong to any aspect of this project did – in a nut shell we had a crew that had been up for 48 hours plus trying to fix all the problems that came up before driving out here- friendships were strained if not severely damaged. It was a tough year.

And on the other end of the spectrum, describe what you feel is your greatest achievement.

Our greatest achievement as a troupe is our show that hopefully all of you will come see this summer (shameless plug here – tickets go on sale May 15th – www.cirqueberzerk.com )– I feel like we have really reached a beautiful peak and an outstanding level of skill and artistic direction – and finally creating a cohesive show from make-up design to set design – to all original music played live during the show etc. etc. On an individual level I feel great pride in watching members of our troupe that came on as helpers – not even performers and now they are being thrown in the air and doing flips – it’s so cool. I feel proud that our troupe has inspired others to choose circus and performance and art as their path and I hope created a space for them to explore that in.

And what are some of your greatest fears?

We have no fear!!!!!!! – we are Cirque Berzerk dammit!!!!!!!

(ok, maybe just a little..but don’t tell anyone)

Fear? Gosh – I guess a fear of success a little –big success can sometimes change dynamics, I don’t know - bad reviews? Every performer fears that – right? To be honest not a whole lotta fear – we feel really invincible right now.

What keeps you going?
1 part insanity, 1 part delusion with just a pinch of nutty.

What keeps me going? I totally with all my heart believe in this project and I completely believe in all the people in our troupe to make this project amazing. I have been an artist all my life – it’s taken on many different mediums from dance to theatre, to photography to sculpture to circus arts - but I don’t know how to live my life doing anything but making art – so it’s not really a choice but to keep going – I just don’t know how to live my life any other way. Now as far the other 22 people in this project, I have no idea – they just keep showing up and doing fabulous and beautiful things – I try not to question it.

What do you feel is the most valuable thing you have learned as a result of

CB?
1. Patience – and I’m still working on that.
2. Never talk anyone into doing anything – if it doesn’t work out – then it’s your fault.
3. If you don’t know how to use a ratchet strap – don’t touch it.
4. And how to properly use a ratchet strap – (thanks Roo!) and how to set up a Big Top – that part is really really cool!
5. oh yea – and and it’s been amazing creating this with my lover, partner and as of last year official hubby Kevin. (We even got married in our big top – and let me tell you it was the circus wedding of a life time!)

What is your vision for CB in the coming years, and ultimately, do you have a singular goal for what you want it to become?

I want to travel with this show, we have a rep in Europe now and hopefully will be performing in Spain this fall. I want to go on tour with our full crew and our tent – to me a big part of the magic of the show is because it happens in a big top. And I want our troupe to reach a level of success where we can really make a difference.

Inspirations:
I have always been inspired by the mystery that surrounds the circus. Circus has always been on the outer most edges of society and has always been a family of freaks & gypsies–right?
I feel like circus really challenged quite a few notions of beauty, gender and life style way before the social revolutions of the 60’s.

For the creation of our show I was always really inspired by the Mutaytor show – Kevin had been playing in the band for a few years when we first met – and I ended up joining the band full time about a year after we started CB. The energy on stage at a Mutaytor show is infectious. I saw that show and immediately wanted to run away and join them – I hope our shows give that feeling. Quite a few of our members are also in Mutaytor so I feel sometimes like were one big family – they have given us so much love and support for our creation – it’s really been incredible.

And I have to say – I am really inspired by the scene in SF right now – Ilived in San Francisco for 15 years – defected to LA in ’02 – so I still feel like San Francisco is my home. The crew up there is really cool and ultimately I’d love to collaborate with a lot of the SF troupes into one huge circus bonanza somewhere! We’ve been fortunate enough to play with Rosin Coven in the past and now have a few shows lined up with them – I have also have had the great fortune to perform and collaborate a little with Mike from VDV and Boe of Gooferman, and the crew at Xeno – I love those guys! They are all such a great crew of talented and fun people.

Okay Suzanne - any questions that you want to ask me? (Turn around is fair play…)

Q: If you had to give your self a title in the circus what would it be? What’s your job description, kSea?

(Ringmaster's Note: I probably won't ask this too much anymore...)
Oh, hells – well, I asked for it… and so did you. Obviously you don’t know how I tend to ramble… Still, here ya go.
I believe that first and foremost it might be The Fool. I see life and the world as a Circus, and while for much of my later life I tried to play the game of being a “responsible adult” – having a few different careers from a Harley Davidson Technician to an executive-type that dressed in $700 Donna Karan suits (and I must say, I look damn good in a suit) those things always left me wanting more. In trying to figure out what I wanted to do, it was always, unfailingly, creating. It was always inspiring people, from day one. The one who offered wisdom to those who were ready for it – whether they realized it then or years later.
The very first thing I remember wanting to be as a child was an old black man, smoking a corncob pipe on the front covered deck of a shack at the edge of a dirt road, someone you would find in a Tom Sawyer story – or perhaps more appropriately, Huck Finn. He was the traveler… As the children walked by on their way to school, bare feet and overalls, they would as me questions about certain things, about life, and I would give them answers – maybe the answers wouldn’t make much sense at the time, but as the children grew, they would – and be able to fit into any situation… I wanted to give them the gift of a magic that would always stay. The magic that is seen through a child’s eyes.

After the suit job, I finally started listening to me, - and acting on the dreams I had since I was a child, both waking and asleep. I’ve always wanted to perform, to delight, to bring wonder to people. Be one of the people that made them go OOOH! And AAAH! – but not so much for the recognition of the limelight – I wanted to be some sort of inspiration to people who have forgotten their dreams. It is only when I finally was able to begin to remember mine that I was able to find that voice inside of me that had been muted for so long.

I lave learned to keep listening, and as a result, Big Top Magazine came about. While I have been the Ringmaster of The Dresden Dolls Brigade and now Big Top, The Fool, the Jester, is perhaps what I identify with the most.
HA! Dig it – just google’d “The Fool” and found this:
"The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. He represents the mystical cleverness bereft of reason within us, the childlike ability to tune into the inner workings of the world. The sun shining behind him represents the divine nature of the Fool's wisdom and exuberance. On his back are all the possessions he might need. In his hand there is a flower, showing his appreciation of beauty. He is frequently accompanied by a dog, sometimes seen as his animal desires, sometimes as the call of the "real world", nipping at his heels and distracting him. He is seemingly unconcerned that he is standing on a precipice, apparently about to leap, engaged in the most supreme act of idiocy or trust."

Yeah, that’s me, alright. The Fool.

I have a few performances brewing that are on hold right now, mainly because of Big Top and finding the right people… but the more I think about it, I know exactly who I want to work on these ideas with – The Wandering Marionettes…

But dammit, this isn’t about me! It’s about YOU and Cirque Berzerk! So, to close this email interview …

Tell me a secret.

……I’m thinking of it right now……but I won’t tell – at least not without a cocktail…. Hee hee….

Fine. I’ll make one up then.
Suzanne once went up against Britney Spears in a talent contest in her wee years, but Britney was threatened by Suzanne’s talent so laced her apple juice with a whole jar of Flintstone’s chewable vitamins. Suzanne still beat the pants off of Britney, but for years had a strange compulsion to shout YABBA DABBA DOO! at odd and frequent occasions.